Jackass
by DarkAlison
Summary: My first Aurikku. How sweet. You know, I can't think of a summary cos its all been done before... Just read it.
1. WhyBloody ME?

Author's beginning note: My first Aurikku. Shut your mouth XD lol. Its all been done before, so sorry for current lack of creativity. Any OOCness and game lines mixed up or wrong, I apologise for in advance.

Disclaimer: Alison owns NOTHING! At least, not Final Fantasy X or any of its characters. If she did, Auron would be very afraid.

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_This is one of the times I'd rather be jumping infront of a speeding machina._ Rikku thought to herself. Her cousin, Yuna, wanted her to be her guardian. Normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem. Cos, come on! Who would whack their younger cousin over the head, even if she did happen to be Al Bhed? Okay, maybe not 'whack' exactly, but close enough. Anyways, they would proably have just started walking in the direction of the next temple, and all would be fine. Happy music and bunnies hopping around.

But Noo! Yuna had to ask the Legendary Guardian, Sir Auron, if Rikku was allowed to join. Not to mention the orange haired bloke, who obviously hated Al Bhed, could probably spear her on his pointy hair if he knew she was Al Bhed. Rikku decided to calm herself down by thinking of something funny...

_"Father, whats up with those fiends? They look ugly and mean!" Rikku asked her dad. Her friend Keyakku cut in,_

_"They're probably nice once you got to know them!" He said._

_"I think I went to english classes with a woman like that." Her dad said. Rikku rolled hey eyes and made a silent promise never to ask them anything ever again._

Rikku couldn't even giggle. That was just weird. She looked down at the ground, where she could see Sir Auron's shoes. Menacing shoes indeed..

" Show me your face" He said in a gruff voice.

_Scary!_ Rikku thought. The rest of Yuna's guardians were hanging around in a group near the water, not paying attention at all. Weirdos.

"Uh, okay." Rikku replied nervously, closing her eyes and lifting her head up. Auron made a chuckling noise, but she brushed it away as just some trick of her ears. Why the hell would a Legendary Guardian chuckle anyway? Plus, the way he said his next sentence contradicted any chuckling.

" Open your eyes." He said, once again, gruffly.

_Can't this guy speak normally for once? _She thought, slightly annoyed for no reason. Which got her even more annoyed. She slowly opened one of her green swirly eyes, and looked at Sir Auron.

"As I thought." He said quietly. Rikku opened both her eyes.

"No good?" She asked him. Auron looked at her.

" Are you sure?" He asked her. Rikku nodded her head energetically.

" A hundred percent!" She said. Auron hmphed, then nodded.

_Maybe he doesn't have a stick up his ass after all?_ Rikku thought.

_Stuff that previous thought. This guys got a stick shoved way up his ass! And Wakka was deffinately not helping with that 'joke'!_ Rikku was thinking bitterly about 2 hours later. They were on the Thunder Plains, which she hated... Lighting crashed around her, and she huddled up into a ball.

" Can't we rest just a minute?" She whimpered. She knew Auron was exasperated.

" The storm never stops. Better to cross quickly." He said. Lightning crashed again and, being the crybaby she was, grabbed onto Tidus' leg.

" Pretty please?" She whimpered again. He rolled his eye. Tidus' looked at Auron, desperate to get Machina girl of his leg.

" Well, what now?" He asked. Auron hmphed and said nothing.

_Jerk!_ Rikku thought, and Yuna said.

" Rikku, maybe we should just keep walking.." She said. Lightining crashed, again, and Rikku whimpered again, and clung to Tidus' leg tighter.

"Ow!" Came Tidus' reply to girl-hugging-leg.

"Please! Just 5 minutes?" Rikku whimpered ( She was doing alot of that lately! ) and looked at the retreating group, who kept walking.

"1 minute?" She asked, and whimpered again. They kept walking..

_Meanies! _She thought.

" Are you having fun doing this to me?" She asked them angrily. No response.

"Your mean,cruel! Your mom's would be ashamed of you!" She told them. They finally turned around.

" Fine! We rest. She's worse than the storm!" Auron said exasperatedly. Rikku almost whooped, and ran into the Al Bhed agency.

_No lightning in here!_ She thought joyfully._Jackass is still here though..._

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A/N : Read. Review. Now.! Your life depends upon it.


	2. Shoezilla!

A/N: Will this ever get serious? Maybe. Thankyou's to those who reviewed They made my day. Erhm. Yes, anyways, maybe serious, depending on whether or not I feel like it nn!

Disclaimer in chapter 1.

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_I. Hate.Lighting! _Rikku thought and, to her disgust, whimpered. Her constant whimpering was getting on her nerves. She was very quiet. This didn't happen often, and usually her family would be celebrating her quietness with shoopuf milk.

" I hate my brother..'' Rikku growled as she huddled up under the covers._ Jacka- No, Dumbass._ Rikku thought to herself. Jackass was he-with-a-pineapple-up-his-butt. In other words, Sir Auron. In more other words, guy who was clomping down the hallway in his menacing shoes. Shoezilla. In even more words to annoy no one in paticular, The Guy who wasnt bad looking.

_Vilg. Don't go there!_ Rikku thought. The thunder was brainwashing her! A sudden flash of lighting and thunder even louder Auron's shoes caused Rikku to scream. And caused someone to sigh exasperatedly.

_Oops!_ Rikku thought. She had probably pissed Auron off with her constant screaming and whimpering. Sure enough, the door opened and Sir Auron poked his head in.  
"Are you ever going to be quiet?" He said. Rikku nodded and put her hands over her mouth. Auron sighed and walked off somewhere.  
_Probably planning to be mean!_ Rikku said to her head. Her head didn't answer.

Macalania was deffinately prettier than Rikku had expected. She had expeted ice, water and a temple. Wrong! There were pretty trees and lights and.. Sir Auron standing in front of her. He had his back turned to her and was just following Yuna and the 'gang' to Macalania. Yevon knows how she fell behind. She was usually the life of the party, but Yuna and her healing spells had taken that part. So Rikku was simply hyper bunny extroadinaire. Auron's shoes made loud noises when they walked into puddles. Rikku could just imagine the droplets of water as people running from Shoezilla.

_Stop staring at the shoes Rikku... They're hypnotising you!_ Rikku stopped looking at Auron's shoes and instead looked around them. Interesting and not so interesting things. And just plain gross things like the flans beneath the branch they were walking on 'getting it on'.

"Eww!" Rikku said quietly, watching the flans. She didn't notice Auron rolling his eye, but she did notice him turning his head to look at what she was looking at. He looked away almost immediately.  
_Heh._ Rikku thought. She stopped looking at the flans and started following the Jackass. He was obviously annoyed by her, and she was enjoying annoying him.

Water and Oil. Cheese and chalk. Square and circle. Loafers and Thongs, To include as many weird things as possible.

_That girl is a nuisance._ Auron thought. She'd been annoying him from the Thunder Plains to Macalania Inn, Where they were now resting. Despite the fact that the Temple was not far away. He'd rather of just kept going to the temple, but everyone had looked tired after the fight with Sphermorph. So he just let them. Everyone was most likely asleep as this point, and he had nothing to do. Nothing at all. He was dead, and couldn't rest until he shuffled off to the Farplane.

_Thanks alot Yunalesca._ He thought bitterly. With nothing to do, he stood up and decided to go for a walk. He was starting to exasperate and freak himself out. How strange was it that he couldn't stop thinking of Rikku? He shook his head, trying to rid his head of his thoughts of Rikku, and continued to wander aimlessly.

Auron found himself at the spring, where he found Rikku sitting with her legs in the water. She turned her head around and looked at him.  
"Hiya!" She said, waving. Auron said nothing.

"Um... Sorry for annoying you on the Thunder Plains. I just really hate thunder!" Rikku apologised. That was unexpected.

"Thats fine. I'm sorry for losing my temper." Auron replied. He then turned around and walked away.  
_Unexpeced apologies. What next? A non-annoying Rikku?_ Auron thought to himself.

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A/N: Muahha. Um. Yeah.

Shortness sucks . R AND R NOW!


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